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Survivor Guilt

The vision presenter's voice rang sweet and clear. His intonation hit the perfect chords, just as every detail of his unblemished facade was crystal clear. It was as it should be, since I had set the controls for - no, not the heart of the sun, yet I wished I could - maximum clarity. I wanted to see the show, and more so because the show was about me. 

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I don't think of the past. The only thing that matters is the everlasting present. W. Somerset Maugham Ralph Waldo Emerson - "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
keep the mind occupied. working all the time, not letting it wander back to the sordid fact of having to face this place for a whole month. especially that fact. thirty days of...of...i don't know what and what's more, i don't WANT to know. i wish i had an escape from this.