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everytime i read what i've written previously, i am weighed down by the feeling that this kind of stuff sounds good and interesting and illuminating only to me. why would anyone want to waste time on anything that doesn't concern them at all? its curiosity. its healthy, natural and 100% fat-free (unless, of course, your curiosities tend to be gastronomically inclined). its healthy to be curious for both you and me, because if you're reading this, you're aiding me to survive and have thus earned my gratitude without even knowing me. if that reason isn't enough to convince you to read on, i don't know what it... i have no idea how that paragraph ended like it did. neither do i remember what i'd wanted it to say when i started it. what i do recall is that i was in a bad mood at the start and by now i'm pretty tolerant...getting high has its advantages. my handwriting is slipping as well...

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keep the mind occupied. working all the time, not letting it wander back to the sordid fact of having to face this place for a whole month. especially that fact. thirty days of...of...i don't know what and what's more, i don't WANT to know. i wish i had an escape from this.