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jesus! for half a minute or more i've been putting off putting pen to paper, just trying to get off to a perfect start...for what?i guess that's what everyone wishes for when they look back and see what mistakes they made and try and convince themselves that only if they'd got that perfect start, they wouildn't be feeling screwed right now. the 'if' hurdle again...if only i knew how to get over that hurdle...if only wishes were true... i read over 'poison' and struck me again how much advice i give myself...the tough part is acting on it. like being a part of the masses...how can i be part of something i don't understand? there's nothing wrong with the dorky stereotype. atleast i hope not, but i don't get it. why would anyone want to be like that? not my place to know, and i don't want to know. that;s my problem. or one of the major ones, atleast. i'm too stubborn to change. this is beginning to sound more like Zen than ever! was Pirsig high when he wrote all that? what a no-brainer. ofcourse he was! if he was normal when he went on about Quality, save me from his inevitable insanity surges - like Lila. another great work that falls neatly into hopped-up-author category is that tome of blubberingly insane sci-fi-comedy - The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy. notice i've written the initials in caps. hence, appreciate the effort i've put in to pay homage to Mr. Adams. now i'm beginning to name-drop like Greg Giraldo! speaking of which, did Pamela Anderson survive that Roast? dont' remember, don't care... ugh!what did i just write? man, plagiarism suits are gonna fly left and right...if only...not to mention any stiff-necked copyright laws... should've been doing some constructive stuff right now...but who cares? tomorrow's a new day. only problem is, i'll have to live through it. bweing ill is such a drag...for one, there's the fact that you're not alive enough to live life; you become a spectator to the world, unable to control your own part in the play. plus i get irritated by having to sit in one place. guess i'm gonna get up and go.

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