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on the previous sheet(of paper, when i wrote this), i've practised the Root Locus Technique, essential for increasing my chances at the Control Systems exam i had. i didnn't remember a single stp when i saw the question. i'm too stubborn, i guess. even when i know the inevitable situation i'll be in, later. but like i've said and will keep saying, it's all in the hazy future. i don't worry about it. stupid thing to do. i should be worried. i should be mugging my ass off. or, atleast, i should be trying to. but i don't. i shouldn't have been here. i shouldn't have caved in under peer pressure and the opinion of leading educationalists to take admission. now i know that all those castles i'd built weren't meant to be. those castles weren't even built in air, they were built in the stratosphere. problem is, i don't know what my problem is. i don't know how i'll react to any situation or make any decision at any given point of time. i'll know the right thing to do, oh yes i will. but i can't be sure i'll do that right thing at that time. i'm not really good at anyhting. even those things i like, i can't do really well. i might brag about, yes, but i'm not going to be good at it. look at me. i'm not even doing what i want to. just the fact that i've taken a sep i'd wanted to, has cheered me up so much that i'm already fantasizing about life turning out exactly how i want it to. no thought for the monumental hurdles that lie in the way...

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